Breaking The Mold Read online

  I was actually very nervous about what I might see. This was a necessary step in the progression of our relationship though. It’s not fair for him to be left unsatisfied. Before we left for the club, I changed and checked my phone before shutting it off for the night. As expected, I had a text from Samantha.

  Samantha: Enjoy your night and remember that what you see him do tonight doesn’t mean he will do it to you.

  That was her attempt at making me not worry, or fear J.P. I wasn’t afraid of him, and I knew what he’s capable of. I’ve seen many pictures of what he can do. This would be an experience to witness.

  J.P. has already arranged to do an impact scene this evening with an unattached sub. He said the girl is a club sub and under the protection of the Irons board members.

  “What does that mean exactly?” I asked as we waited in line to check in.

  “It means she has many who watch over her. While she is free to negotiate scenes on her own within the club, before she leaves the club she must check out with a board member. It’s the responsibility of the Dom or Top that she scenes with to ensure she’s received some care after their scene. But it’s the responsibility of the board member whom she checks out with to make sure she is physically and emotionally okay. That includes a few phone calls from the board member along with some sort of meeting within forty-eight to seventy-two hours afterward.”

  “A meeting?”

  “Yeah, like for coffee. Blake has always had that rule for club subs and the board. Since the club subs aren’t going home with their play partner, we take on the responsibility of looking after them,” J.P explained.

  I nodded and began to wonder what would happen tonight with the girl he was going to scene with. Would J.P. be taking on that responsibility?

  “Princess, remember that this is merely a scene. Love, isn’t part of the equation. Sex, isn’t part of the scene. Love and sex is reserved for you and me. Okay?”

  “Okay, I know.”

  “Your mind was running. Settle it, princess. If you can’t, tonight is going to be rough.”

  J.P. bent and kissed my lips before setting his toy bag on the counter to check in.

  “Cell number four, please,” J.P. said.

  “Yes, Master Paul. Dungeon Cell four is available for you as requested. Your bag will be in the cell for you within the half hour,” the girl behind the counter said.

  J.P. and I headed into the club, and he led me over to the unattached sub area where a bunch of women knelt. He pointed for me to have a seat on a couch a few feet away. I sat down and watched him with the women. These women all possessed discipline and strength, and I admired their poise and focus.

  J.P. put his hand on the head of a young woman, and she looked up at him. He held his hand out, and the woman placed hers in his as he helped her stand. She waited until J.P. started to walk toward me before she began walking. I was treated to J.P.’s smile. He cupped my cheek as he sat down on the arm of the leather couch and the girl lowered herself to the floor.

  “Head up, Cassidy,” J.P. said and the young woman’s head lifted. “Cassidy, this is my girl, Amy. She’s the one that I mentioned will be watching our scene tonight.”

  “Yes, Master Paul.”

  J.P. turned to look at me.

  “Cassidy is a masochist and hasn’t had a scene in over a week. We have negotiated a heavy impact scene.” J.P. returned his attention to Cassidy. “Cassidy, are you still consenting to the scene we discussed?”

  “Yes, Master Paul. I need it.”

  She needs the beating. I thought about this, and back to the many discussions J.P. and I have had about a sadist’s needs and a masochist’s needs. Did J.P. need a masochist? Can a masochist give him what he needs easier than I can?

  “Ready, Amy?”

  “Yes, Sir,” I said.

  His warm smile made me feel like things would be fine between us even after this scene. He took my hand and led me down the stairs to the dungeon as Cassidy followed. J.P. stopped at a stone bench in front of the cell where his scene would take place.

  “This is where you sit and watch. After the scene, I’ll motion for you to step into the cell. I want you to look closely at the marks, and the wounds. I want you to pay attention to everything. Cassidy knows that you will be coming into the cell immediately after the scene and prior to after care.”

  I nodded and sat down on the bench as J.P. and Cassidy went into the cell. Taking a deep breath, I glanced around the dungeon hallway. It was pretty crowded, and I noticed a few Dungeon Monitors were roaming about. Hopefully, J.P.’s scene didn’t bring any of them over.

  The scene started with Cassidy leaning against a wall as J.P. flogged her. I didn’t think too much of it at first until the flogging seemed to go on and on. Her back, butt and the backs of her legs were very red. Every now and then, the light would catch just right, and something would shimmer on the flogger. I think it’s one of those studded floggers.

  J.P. cuffed her to the piece of furniture he called a spanking bench then began whipping her with a leather strap.

  “Count, Cassidy. Stop counting when you get to fifty.”

  Fifty? Was he going to hit her with that strap fifty times? Cassidy’s voice counting out with each lash as her body absorbed them, confirmed that for me. Shit.

  Blake stood to the side for a few minutes and then sat down beside me. I wish J.P. and Blake could patch up their friendship.

  “Spectating tonight, Amy?” Blake asked.

  A loud gasp and whimper came from the dungeon cell in front of me, causing me to look up. J.P. brought the strap down on the back of Cassidy’s lower legs. Her cries gave him more energy as I spoke quietly to Blake.

  “Yes, J.P. thought it would be good for me to see him in a heavy scene.” My mind was distracted by the scene going on in front of me. It was easy to talk to Blake, and I felt a sense of calmness beside him as well. “I want to be everything that he needs. So, he wants me to watch a heavy scene and see how the girl is afterward.”

  More cries came from the cell as J.P. removed the cuffs and positioned Cassidy on her knees. J.P. wrapped the rope around her breasts tightly. It looked painful. After he tied her, he walked out of sight.

  “I see,” Blake calmly said as he studied Cassidy in the cell. “My guess is that this scene will help you decide if you can truly withstand Paul.”

  I frowned. I could withstand him. I wanted to.

  “I can. I want to,” I announced confidently.

  “Paul is taken by you. He’s protective of you, and I think he wants to be careful with you.”

  “Because he could hurt me?”

  “Amy, Paul has been doing this a very long time. He’s probably the best scene mind-fucker, or mind manipulator, in Irons. He knows that, too. For a person to surrender their body to him is one thing. That body will be marked, there’s no doubt about that. It’s fuel for his fire. But when a person submits their mind to him, if they’re not fully aware of his reach, that’s when harm sets in.”

  “Wouldn’t anyone be aware of his reach if they negotiated a scene with him?” I asked.

  Blake was quiet as we watched J.P. in the cell with Cassidy.

  “Most are, but even those that are aware can be caught off guard. If Paul knows a weakness or finds a crack in the infrastructure, he will exploit it. And that bottom or submissive will be a sitting duck for him to manipulate to his every whim while in that cell.”

  “What about the after care? Doesn’t that help?”

  Blake smiled and nodded.

  “Yes, it helps. But eventually that sub goes home. Understand that Paul’s reach extends well beyond the scene. That is something for you to consider since you are living in another city.”

  “But, he needs things like this,” I gestured to the scene going on in front of us.

  “He does, indeed. But I think it’s important that you don’t lose yourself in Paul’s needs.”

  I watched J.P. return with a rod that glowed. What is
that?

  “What is that, Blake?”

  “That’s a violet wand. It emits a low electrical current. It’s used mostly for sensation play.”

  “Electrical,” I said as I tried to wrap my head around this. “Does it hurt?”

  “It can be...uncomfortable. It depends upon how the user is using it. As with almost anything, Amy, something that brings pleasure can almost always bring pain.”

  Cassidy moaned as J.P. moved the wand over her breasts that were wrapped tightly in the rope. Her moans turned to whimpers as the wand neared her nipple and quickly they became cries. Even from where I sat, I could see the excitement on his face as he toyed with her.

  “You want to do that with him, Amy?”

  Did I?

  “I want to be with him and be what he needs.”

  “You have to understand something, Amy; Paul is always going to have this need in him. It’s who he is.”

  Blake and I sat in silence as J.P. took a cane to the top of her thighs. From the hallway, I could tell that he marked Cassidy up badly. And he seemed to have an infinite amount of energy for this sort of scene.

  “Amy, this is a scene that isn’t in his normal routine.”

  I let out a short laugh. That was good to know.

  “He’s not normally a monster, is what you’re saying.”

  “He can’t help who he is. He controls it well. Often, he plays a few times a week on a much lighter scale. It helps him stay in control, but it feeds his need.” Blake paused for a moment. “If the need is suppressed, this is the result.” I looked at Blake and then back into the cell.

  So, if he plays a few times a week with me but heavier than he has, this scene before my eyes could be avoided. I wondered if anyone has really been hurt playing with him.

  “Blake, no one that’s played with him has ended up badly injured, have they?”

  “Physically, I’ve seen a fair amount of injuries, though nothing neglectful. There haven’t been any injuries due to him not paying attention to something. Mentally, I’ve seen a variety of things. Few subs or bottoms play with him regularly. Cassidy is one. Masochists are a great partner for him because of their need for pain.”

  I nodded at what Blake was saying.

  “On a personal level, my wife and I have two subs, I think you’ve met both of them.”

  “Yes, the sweet girl and tall young man, right?”

  I noticed the smile on Blake’s face touched his eyes as he thought of his two subs.

  “I won’t let Kelsie or Noah scene with him.”

  “Are you afraid that J.P. will hurt them?”

  “Harm them, Amy. Kelsie and Noah have both been harmed before, and while I think they’re secure in their frame of mind, I don’t want either of them entering a cell with Paul. Like I said, he’s phenomenal at mind games.”

  Cassidy cried out loudly, but it almost sounded like a pleasure moan as a smile appeared on her face.

  “You’ll have to excuse me, Amy. I need to make my rounds.”

  “Okay, thank you, Blake.”

  The scene went on a little bit longer, and when J.P. set the cane down, he motioned for me. Slowly I walked into their cell and set my hand in his outstretched hand. His hand was very warm and sweaty. Suddenly, my mouth seemed incredibly dry as I let my eyes settle over Cassidy.

  She stayed still, but her breathing was labored. Her hair was matted to her face, and her skin was clammy to the touch. The physical wounds were hard to look at. This was what this girl wanted and needed.

  J.P. crouched down and untied Cassidy, freeing her arms and breasts from the tight hold the rope had on her. I watched as her breasts returned to their normal color but noticed the cuts on her nipples.

  “Walk around her, princess,” J.P. instructed.

  I felt so out of place and as if I was intruding or seeing something that I shouldn’t be…at least this close up. The rope impressions were already beginning to fade, and the skin was still slightly discolored there.

  She was bleeding. There wasn’t a lot of blood, but enough.

  Cassidy’s head was bowed forward, and she remained still while I gazed at what my boyfriend did to her; what he consensually did to her. The more I stood there and looked at Cassidy the weaker I felt.

  Could I do this?

  If I wanted all of him and to meet all of his needs, I had to. Cassidy’s shoulders quivered, and her voice didn’t sound so strong anymore.

  “Ma-ster P-Paul,” Cassidy began.

  J.P. crouched in front of her again and reached out to smooth her hair. He was calm and gentle with her…just as he was with me. The oddest feeling surrounded me as I watched him try to calm her down.

  “Calm down, Cassidy. We’ll begin our care in a moment,” he said in a soft tone.

  When he looked up at me, I knew that was my cue to move along. I walked to the entrance of the cell and turned around just as J.P. picked Cassidy up. Seeing him hold her in his arms made me feel sick inside. With tears burning the inside of my eyelids, I hurried away from the entrance.

  I paced the dungeon hallway, hoping it would calm me down. I even glanced at a few other scenes taking place, but all it did was make me more aware that my guy was soothing another woman that he tore to pieces. I walked back to their cell and peeked inside. Cassidy was cuddled up on his lap as he held her tenderly.

  I can’t watch this.

  Dabbing my eyes, I hurried up the stone steps that led to the main room. I felt sick to my stomach and searched for an empty couch where I could sit and try to calm down. Facing the bar was an empty leather couch, and I quickly made my way to it. I kept my head down and thought about J.P.’s scene with Cassidy. Though her body was a mess, he was kind to her afterward. She was a masochist and enjoyed pain.

  Could I go through that for J.P.?

  “Hi, are you alright?” a man asked me quietly.

  I looked up and wiped my eyes with the side of my index finger. It was the guy with the scar, although he was dressed. In his hands, he had a bottle of water and held it out to me. Gathering myself, I accepted the offered bottle and managed a small smile.

  I nodded confirming that I was okay. I’ve heard J.P. call this man the Prince of Irons and Golden Boy Graves. He says mean things about him yet has many pictures on his Kinky Links account of him. This was J.P.’s muse.

  “Thank you for the water,” I said and focused on the bottle in my hands.

  He sat down next to me and eventually reached his hand out towards the bottle.

  “May I?” he asked.

  He took the bottle from my hands, opened it and handed it back to me.

  “Drink some, Amy.”

  I was taken aback by the fact that he remembered my name. I was officially introduced to him a while back, but it was just that one time. From what J.P. says, this guy is a woman magnet and plays with different women each time he’s here. And J.P. has a thing for him…I think, though I’m not sure.

  I put the bottle to my lips and listened to him talk.

  “That was quite the scene, huh?”

  “Yes,” I replied.

  “First one you’ve seen like that?”

  I nodded and then thought to clarify.

  “It was the first one where I’ve seen J.P. like that. We’ve watched other scenes, but that was my first watching him like that.”

  “Pretty intense.”

  “Yes, it was,” I agreed as I tried to picture myself in Cassidy’s shoes.

  “I’m assuming since that was the first scene you’ve witnessed like that, that you haven’t participated in something like that either.”

  “Correct.”

  “But you’re considering it.”

  “Yes, I am,” I said as confidently as I could.

  “You two are seeing one another?” he asked, and I nodded. “Don’t be afraid to communicate with him. These relationships only work if both of you talk.”

  I nodded and sipped my water.

  “The girl, Cassidy, is a har
dcore masochist. My guess is that he selected her because he knew she could withstand a lot. He’s showing you the worst so you can reflect on that.”

  I thought about what he was saying; what I saw was the worst. I think I could handle that.

  “He doesn’t get worse, or I guess that’s not the right word...is that the roughest he can get?” I asked J.P.’s muse.

  I looked into his gray eyes and searched for a genuine reply.

  “Physically, yes. Mentally, no.”

  Shit, here’s another reminder of separating physical from mental. And the second warning from different people. Two men that have never scened with J.P. One of them used to be best friends with J.P. and the other one, J.P. has some fantasy about tying up.

  “I’m not saying that to scare you, Amy. I’m telling you that so you are aware. I’ve watched many women walk into a cell with him, and they’re ready. They say they can take it and they steel themselves for the wrath that their body will go through. They walk in there knowing they’ve protected their body. But they leave their mind unguarded. Just don’t go into any scene with a vulnerable frame of mind. He likes it even more than the canvas of a body.”

  His eyes didn’t falter as he spoke to me. Blake also mentioned J.P.’s fascination with mind play. And I didn’t fully understand this. Something told me that I needed to be very alert and cautious though I didn’t really know what I needed to be on the lookout for.

  “Graves!”

  Our eyes broke at the sound of J.P.’s voice. I jumped and was surprised at how angry he sounded. He seemed calm and docile when I left him in the dungeon. But now he was visibly angry and stood with clenched fists.

  Anthony hadn’t moved from the couch and just looked up at J.P. Something passed over J.P.’s face that caused him to close his eyes. His chest was heaving, and I really thought J.P. might take a swing at Anthony.

  “I swear to fucking God, Graves. Get away from her.”

  “J.P.—” I started, but he cut me off.

  “Quiet!”

  Stunned and embarrassed, I sat there and watched the man I fell in love with show an ugly side that I was sad to find out existed.

  “Relax, Paul. I was just talking to her. She was upset and alone. I brought her some water.”